Wish You Were Here—Wish I Were There

Not a day goes by that I’m not deeply grateful for the incredible experience of living in Spain. From weekend adventures to the thrill of navigating a new culture, it’s a dream in many ways. But while friends back home might envy the highlights they see on Instagram, I often find myself missing the simple comforts they enjoy—family dinners, familiar routines, and the stability of home.

Living abroad comes with an emotional mix of awe and ache. Balancing gratitude for the opportunity with the quiet weight of homesickness is something I’ve had to learn along the way. What’s helped most is realizing I’m not alone in this. Below are a few tools and practices that have helped me manage those ups and downs.

Social Media vs. Reality

Social media makes both sides of the ocean look perfect—your friends’ lives seem full of weddings, job promotions, and cozy get-togethers, while your life looks like a non-stop adventure.

How to be mindful of social media’s distortion and remind yourself that real life isn’t just the highlights:

• Follow creators who show the behind-the-scenes of expat life—messy moments and all.
• Take digital breaks when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
• Talk to friends openly about what’s really going on—on both ends.

The Comfort vs. Adventure Trade-Off

Your friends may envy your ability to explore Europe on weekends, but you sometimes long for the comfort of knowing your go-to coffee shop, running into familiar faces, or celebrating birthdays with family. The trade-off between stability and novelty—why neither is necessarily better, just different. How to embrace the discomfort of being an expat while acknowledging the benefits of being home:

• Create rituals that mimic home—Sunday walks, familiar meals, weekly calls with family.
• Find a few “go-to” places in your new city to build a sense of routine.
• Let yourself feel both things: grateful for the adventure and nostalgic for the familiar.
• Chances are, your fellow expat friends are feeling the same waves of homesickness—even if they haven’t said it out loud. Talking openly about it can create deeper connections and a sense of shared understanding.

Feeling ‘In Between’ Two Lives

You don’t fully belong in Spain, but you’re also slowly becoming disconnected from the everyday rhythms of life back home. Missing inside jokes, new relationships forming without you, or not recognizing new spots in your hometown can feel strange.

Strategies to stay connected to both worlds without feeling torn apart:

• Schedule regular catch-ups with friends/family—even just 15-minute calls can help.
• Send physical postcards or small gifts to stay present in your loved ones’ lives.
• Share your everyday—not just the travel photos—with people back home.
• Allow space to grieve the moments you're missing; that’s part of the process.

Managing Envy from Both Sides

Your friends might tell you, “You’re so lucky to live in Spain!” while you’re thinking, “You’re so lucky to have Sunday family dinners.” Learning to validate both perspectives—yes, you’re living a dream in many ways, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. Finding gratitude for where you are while acknowledging it’s okay to miss what you left behind:

• Practice saying: “Both things can be true”—you’re lucky, and it’s hard.
• Be honest with the people back home when they idealize your life—sharing the full picture helps.
• Reflect on what you’re gaining that you couldn’t have at home—independence, growth, new perspective.
• Let homesickness be a sign of love, not weakness.

How to Stay Grounded and Enjoy the Present

Practical ways to stop comparing and start embracing—keeping a gratitude journal, making local traditions your own, and fully immersing in your experience. Shifting focus from what you’re missing to what you’re gaining. Reminding yourself why you chose this experience in the first place:

• Keep a “tiny joys” journal—note one good thing each day, no matter how small.
• Learn and participate in local traditions or events to feel more integrated.
• Make a list of reasons why you came here—reread it on tough days.
• Surround yourself with people who uplift and understand your journey.

Living abroad doesn’t mean you stop missing home—it just means you learn how to carry both worlds with you. The trick is to let the homesickness remind you of what matters, while still making space to fall in love with where you are.